As I walked past a bay of elevators today I noticed that one was just standing there, open, waiting. For the entire time I watched it - a good thirty seconds or so. Suddenly it seemed to be waiting for some hapless victim to step on - "Ho ho, here I wait, heeeere, dinner dinner dinner." And I got to thinking: what if elevators were really Venus Fly Trap-like carnivores? Either some elevators were all the time, or any elevator might become one for a bit. That would put some adventure into people's day - you'd have to always be ready to escape. There might be an upside too though - think of the advertising that, say, "Carnivolliances" (carnivore + appliances) might put out: "The Carnivator: perfect for getting rid of those pesky salespeople who just won't take no for an answer" for an elevator. Or the "Carnivoilet: perfect for getting rid of those pesky houseguests who just won't go home" - to outward appearances just your normal toilet, but when someone sits down on it, it sucks them down its gullet. To commercialize them you'd need to domesticate them I guess, so that most of the time they function like the normal things they pretend to be, but when you give the command - down their gullet!
If you found this funny or interesting or helpful or whatever - or even if you hated it! - please consider donating and help more content to be Freely Offered.